Back to work and starting nursery, by Zoe's mum
I returned to work when Zoe was 10 months old, after almost a year of maternity leave, and was lucky enough that my employer was willing to let me work just two days a week. Zoe goes to nursery for a day and a half, with my husband taking her for the remaining half day.
During the first few weeks I spent a fair amount of time at work fretting about whether Zoe was ok at nursery, and of course, feeling guilty. After 10 months of being with her 24/7, it was just a really weird feeling being away from her.
Zoe was breastfed, and when starting nursery was still on 3 or 4 feeds a day. We'd had very little success at giving her milk or water in a cup (and none at all with a bottle), so I was worried that she'd not get enough fluids during the time she was away from me. But yet again I'd underestimated her - it turned out she was much more willing to take her cup while at nursery, and simply took longer feeds from me when I got home. I kept breastfeeding her until 13 months, gradually winding down.
The other wee worry was that she was terrible at going to sleep by herself. At home we had to jump through hoops to get her down, but lo and behold, on her first full day at nursery she went down for nap, by herself, without any fuss at all. I simply could not believe it. I was amazed and relieved (and only slightly piqued). This breakthrough carried on at home too; she was soon going down really easily. Halleluja!
So the first few weeks were full of worry, but at the same time it was great to be back at work. I'm lucky enough to have a job I really like, but even apart from that it was just lovely to get spammed up again, wear heels again, to have time to read a book on the train, have adult conversation, and everything else. Not to mention just how plain restful it was. Of course, all these things sound selfish and shallow - but how often do you get to be selfish and shallow when you're a new mum? Naturally, just the fact that I do enjoy it so much makes me feel guilty again, but I think that just comes with the territory. Luckily Zoe settled in to nursery really quickly and just loves it, and slowly I relaxed at work.
While I was off on maternity leave, I kept in touch with friends in the company, kept an eye on work e-mails from time to time and also went along to one of the quarterly company updates. This all helped me keep in touch, however vaguely, with what was going on in the company, and I think helped others to remember that I was still around. When I went back, I changed from having what was a wide-ranging remit to a more focused role that was better suited to part-time working. This made absolute sense, and has worked pretty well, but the two-day week is still not without its difficulties. I have to be much better organised, be realistic about what I can take on, and can't get involved in half the things I'd like to - it can be very frustrating at times.
But after 10 months of being 100% focused on my baby, it was great to find I could still do my job. It's boosted my self-confidence, Zoe loves being at nursery and gets lots from it, and I think I returned at just the right time.